Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The Big Crunch !!!

And Thus Ends the Big Bong !

This is a wall. It is made up of bricks and cement. I am losing
my creativity at dC/dt= Dr. Arun Sanyal 's IQ .

TADA !!! Bengali examinations are over, and thus ends the horror that is ISC... for those among you who are not acquainted with the vile workings of this council most evil, the ISC is a collective venture of some of the most sadistic carbon based bipeds ( and some who are unquestionably alien creatures - I am saying that they're alien ; Dasgupta agrees with me, so that's that ! ) that ever walked, or in some cases, waddled on planet Earth ( for directions check old post on location of Earth. It's Mostly Harmless. ), which seeks to take over our planet by ensuring that the next generation of humans will be mindless zombies, using a long term brainwashing method called "education".I have already made a ( rather small ) bonfire using some of my school books ( those of you who know me can understand how bad these books must be for me to do this ; for those who do not know me , I am a bibliophile, bookworm , gronthokeet, etc. : I LOVE boobs. ), which my mother found disagreeable for some reason - I mean, WHY, in the name of every obscure deity known to exist, would anyone want to keep such horriffying texts inside the house ? King has nothing on these stories - you read one of his books, and you get a thrill, and you'll be a little ... alert for the next couple of days. You read " Shabek Monushatta aar Haler Shine Kora " and " Shopnodorshon Biddabishoyok " and you'll be scarred for life... let me put it this way - on the DisgustoHorrifiMeter, they rank just under being permanently painted pink and just above witnessing a showering Sharma. ( Yes, I really, REALLY hate Pink. ).IIT preparations purodome cholche, I spent all of yesterday solving practice papers from Brilliant Tutorials and doing other such depressing stuff.
I am really sorry about the long wait, but it was unavoidable - IIT studies are very time consuming, and I have been...persuaded to lower myself to the henious task of learning band theory and colloids ( in the past few minutes ) and other such vile stuff of Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics as nightmares are made on, and our massive syllabus is rounded with an examination. Pathetic, really, look at me, reduced to quoting from something as mundane as Shakespeare, instead of say, something of Maurice Leblanc or Shashi Tharoor, or Kenzaburo Oe or Yasunari Kawabata, or even Wislawa Szymborska or GGM - sad.. just sad. I think I'm turning into a Vogon.

-Bye, Debayan Gupta .

Friday, March 17, 2006

Algebra Simplified

Hall and Knight

or 'z + b + x = y + b + z'

When he was young his cousins used to say of Mr Knight:
'This boy will write an algebra - or looks as if he might.'
And sure enough, when Mr Knight had grown to be a man,
He purchased pen and paper and an inkpot, and began.
But he very soon discovered that he couldn't write at all,
And his heart was filled with yearnings for a certain Mr Hall;
Till, after many years of doubt, he sent his friend a card:
'Have tried to write an Algebra, but find it very hard.'
Now Mr Hall himself had tried to write a book for schools,
But suffered from a handicap: he didn't know the rules.
So when he heard from Mr Knight and understood his gist,
He answered him by telegram: 'Delighted to assist.'
So Mr Hall and Mr Knight they took a house together,
And they worked away at algebra in any kind of weather,
Determined not to give up until they had evolved
A problem so constructed that it never could be solved.
'How hard it is', said Mr Knight, 'to hide the fact from youth
That x and y are equal: it is such an obvious truth!'
'It is', said Mr Hall, 'but if we gave a b to each,
We'd put the problem well beyond our little victims' reach.
'Or are you anxious, Mr Knight, lest any boy should see
The utter superfluity of this repeated b?'
'I scarcely fear it', he replied, and scratched this grizzled head,
'But perhaps it would be safer if to b we added z.'
'A brilliant stroke!', said Hall, and added z to either side;
Then looked at his accomplice with a flush of happy pride.
And Knight, he winked at Hall (a very pardonable lapse).
And they printed off the Algebra and sold it to the chaps.

-- E. V. Rieu
Well, well, well, what do we have here ? As far as I am concerned, ( and as far as just about every student is concerned ) , "accomplice" is just the right word.
Mbleh ! I have been the victim of conspiracy most vile : for whatever reason, all the text that I view on a web page has been reduced to Times New Roman size 8, and I cannot open my own blog page - I can go to the Dashboard, etc., but everytime I go to , This happens :
What in the name of Irodov, Piskunov, and Finar is going on ?
403 error ? I am forbidden from viewing my own blog ? for(int i=0;i<32767;i++)cout<<"?";

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Holy Holi and 420 + websites

Please excuse the pathetically pitiful pun. Due to circumstances beyond my control (much as I hate to admit it ) , I am not anywhere near my creative best. Computer theory examinations are over, and all that is left now, is Bengali.

A cross-section of my brain.
( The language I use proves this statement.)

Mbwhahahahahahahahha... Well, I am currently studying for my IITJEE examinations, which are... let me put it this way : to compare an A level exam to IIT would be to compare a morderately sized puddle to the Pacific. Both are water bodies, but... ( notice how many "..."s I'm using ? This is what too many examinations do to your creativity. )
The IIT exams are..."The IIT entrance exam is not really an Engineering aptitude test. It is a difficult exam, simply because the test is based entirely on a syllabus which is "out of reach" for the average A-level student. The IIT entrance exam is based almost entirely on questions taken out from the first-year engineering syllabus. The "eco-system" that has evolved around the IIT entrance exam specialises in preparing you to cram and regurgitate the first year engineering syllabus. One can set an even more difficult exam, by fairly limiting the syllabus of the exam to whatever the students have studied up to the average A-level across the country, but the IIT entrance examiners take the lazy way out and take perverse pleasure by making the test difficult simply based on a syllabus "out of reach" of the average student. If one takes a look at the American entrance test used uniformly by all undergraduate universities across America, the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT). The SAT is based entirely on the high school syllabus, and is a true "aptitude" test having a proportionate share of questions more tougher than any of the IIT entrance exam setter can dream of." - Not entirely true, but I'm harbouring a lot of hatred for the IIT right now, so ... I'm just basking in the satisfaction that comes when you shout at something you really, really don't like.

I have spent the last 24 hours running and hiding from those obnoxious brats that are my neighbours' children : celebrating Holi is quite all right, but I draw the line at trying to colour me purple and pink. I managed to finish about half of my Physics syllabus today from H R W , witnessed some horrifying "entertainment" on television - The only morderately good thing was Chronicles of Riddick, but weigh that against shows on the nocturnal habits of different kinds of sloths and massive, hour long "shows" which are actually trying to sell you stuff : They were trying to sell an anti -evil eye poendant on the History Channel today. I mean HONESTLY ! Anti-nazar ( evil eye) pendant ? I can tolerate religious zeal, but hello ? 2006 here ? What really scares me is that people are actually buying this stuff - and these people, for the most part are not uneducated ; most of these people have degrees, good jobs, money, and , apparently, enough stupidity to keep all of that in equilibrium.
Notice : Please do NOT mail me any more invites to weird, uninteresting, and completely pathetic sites like namesdatabase, bingbox and hi5 : Yes, they might be very nice, and you might get to know a lot of people, but there is no privacy whatsoever : exempli gratia, the namesdatabase site is owned by opobox ( even the name is all o's and x's ), part of whose so called "Privacy" staatements reads : You grant Opobox a non-exclusive, worldwide, perpetual, irrevocable, transferable, royalty-free right to (a) use, copy, distribute, transmit, publicly display, publicly perform, reproduce, edit, modify, translate and reformat Your Information in any media now known or not currently known, and (b) sublicense these rights, to the maximum extent permitted by applicable law. Opobox will not pay you for Your Information. Opobox reserves the right (but not the obligation) to remove or edit Your Information, but does not regularly review Your Information.
The third page is worse : it has six addresses which you HAVE to fill in, which will be used for "non-commercial" purposes, and if you do not fill one in, or give them an address they already have, you are forced to fill it in again till you give a satisfactory entry. Its horrifying. See this blog conversation. Even the more trustworthy sites like Google are being forced to release information to the bloody US government, and these sites are basically doing legally what professional conmen do outside the eye of the law.

On the brighter side of Today, I found some great movie bloopers and re-read Samit Basu's New Year Post as well as this great post. Just go to his blog and check out the Archives - I found out about the Lightning Thief from there a long time ago, and I like anybody who can recommend a good book to me ( which I haven't read yet ) .

Well, now that THAT's done with, Happy Holi !
- Bye, Mbleh !

Saturday, March 11, 2006

And There He Stands, As if Alive...

If you have no idea what the title means, click it.
And Here's Dibyayan...

The Big(?) Eight

His Next Duchess ?

Same Question, I'm Afraid...

Is that Beer ?

Well, I asked Dibyayan to send me some photos from way-over-there, place-outside-the-Indian-education-system, too-many-hyphens, etc. , and he obliged, but, he has decided to keep his friends' names to himself, saying " Maybe i'll include them depending on the interest received overseases " ( HA! Take that Dibyayan ! Criticising my ungrezi indeed ! Graumph! ).
Oh, and by the way, check out Dibyayan's List Of Titles : Dibyayan (Dev) Basu, Co-op Management Finance Specialist, University of Toronto 2009, MESA Financial Experience (FinEX) Volunteer. (Wipes Tear) Just 18, and he's got half the alphabet after him. It seems like just yesterday that he was jumping up and down shouting "treat" during breaktime. The Wheel turns.

Xavier's College has at last, become autonomous, and is now offering two new courses - Astrophysics and an integrated Biotech course ( Which just happens to satisfy the criteria for getting a Rs.1200000 grant from the state ). SXCS, as is usual where FohShow is involved, is steadily sinking deeper into intellectual depression .

- Bye, Debayan Gupta .

P.S. : Did you know? :

(i) In France, it is illegal for a person to kiss another on railways.

(ii) In Quebec, Canada, an old law states that margarine must be a different colour than butter.

(iii) Anssi Vanjoki, a director of the Finnish telecommunications giant, Nokia, was caught on his Harley motorcycle, doing 47mph in a 31mph zone. His fine was calculated at 14 days of his average income in 1999, which worked out to 116,000 Euros ($148,573US today), the record fine at that time. But wait! You know how the technology market is up and down. Well, Vanjoki petitioned the court for a reduction in the fine, because his 1999 earnings were based on large share options that he had cashed in at the end of the year. A subsequent drop in the market, meant a big dip in his income the next year. He ended up paying only 5% of the original fine. Vanjoki's case apparently didn't serve as a warning to others, because in February of 2004, another fast Finn felt the fickle finger of fine fate. Jussi Salonoja, the 27-year old heir to his family's sausage business, was also nabbed for doing 80kph in a 40kph zone. The fine? A new record- 170,000 Euros, or $217,736 in today's US dollars. The amount was based on tax records that showed his earnings in 2002, amounted to $13,243,279.

P.P.S. : Comment, or I will unleash upon the world the horrors of Sharma's failed love poetry ! Mbwhahahahahaha !

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Joint Entrance Examinations

Well, they've gone and done it again - Bloody bong board ! And I quote : " Due to the upcoming elections, the WBJEE (West Bengal Joint Entrance Examination) dates has been changed to May 20th and May 21st 2006. Physics (which will be held from 11 AM to 1 PM) will be taken in the first half and Mathematics (which will be held from 2 PM to 4 PM) would be taken in the second half. On the second day, Chemistry and Biology would be taken. More information will be available on this from March 11 on . Admit cards has been scheduled to arrive a month before the actual tests. " - discounting the numerous grammatical errors, the fact of the matter is the the examination dates have been changed from 22nd and 23rd April to 20th and 21st May - nearly a *&^%$# month ! Because of Elections ! I am going to murder the Election Commission. As it is, I have sent them a letter, telling them, in terms which I had to look up from a thesarus, of my acute displeasure at their moronic decisions. Mbleh !
As they say - Kee bolbo Guru, Shei Nursery theke shuru : It starts right from kindergarten - you have to pass your classes, and that's " All you have to do " ; in every class, you have to " Do well in your exams " and that's " All you have to do ". ICSE ? just pass this, and its all over. Then comes 11th std, and ISC. Then IIT. WBJEE. ISI. Then actually studying there and passing the classes there. Then getting a job... the list goes on. Shei Nursery theke shuru, aar akebare Morle shesh. ( and not even there, if the subscribers to the theory of reincarnation are to be believed ).
The most devastating fact, of course, is one that everyone who knows me has already noticed ( Or Else ! ) : My birthday is on the 20th of May. I get to give the bloody WBJEE examinations on my 18th Birthday ! ( For those among you who are of less than average grammatical intellect, that was NOT an exclamation of "joy". It was expressing my acute distaste, displeasure and overall Marvin-like disposition. ). Instead of celebrating my "Coming of Age", and being magically transformed from a 'minor' to an 'adult', I get to fill bubble sheets. Oh JOY !
We had our Physics Examination todaay. The numericals were very easy, but the definitions and derivations which we were asked for were... stupid (?). A lot of people got their brains fried ( thankfully, Yours Boringly was not one of them ), and I am told that the ISC Council might be on the receiving end of quite a few Death Threats . Oh well !

- Bye, and Best Wishes, Debayan Gupta .

P.S. : Dibyayan - send me some photos of You And Your Friends from All The Way Over There - a lot of people here want to see you.
P.P.S. : Down with the ISC ! Kill the Infidels ! Kill Them . Kill them All !
Later P.S. : Dibyayan was right. Look at what they did to me. My impeccable Ungrezi is ruined forever ! Whaaaaaaaaa...

Monday, March 06, 2006


Whirlpool Posted by Picasa

I have decided to use this as my blogger ID photo.
Like it ? Hate it ? Want me to be reborn as a relative of Sharma's ?

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

C-H-A-L-K cholke na tolke ?

Well, we just had our Chemistry theory examinations, and it was quite easy - though I have still not figured out why we have to know the structure, names and uses of Polymers Assorted.
Now, The Warning : If one more ignorant scoundrel tries to tell me that The Lord of the Rings is a trilogy, I will skin him alive. The Lord of the Rings is NOT a trilogy. The Bartimaeus series is a trilogy. If anything, LotR was initially made out of six "Books", under one , yes, ONE cover. The publisher, the Blessed publisher convinced Tolkien to break it up, so that the sales would not be affected, because most people tended, and still tend, to shy away from " fat " books.
Well, now that I have finished my rant...
Some time ago, I heard a poem read out at a memorial service for adventurer Sir Peter Blake ( Sir Peter was a successful yachtsman, and one of the few people who actually went around the world, who decided to retire from professional yachting and "give back to the world " by doing environmental work in the waterways of the world. ) who was murdered by pirates in the Amazon. Sir Peter's daughter read it as a goodbye and tribute to her father - it was undoubtedly one of the best and most moving recitals I have ever heard , and I was honestly astonished when I gathered that this was a Tolkien piece ( I thought I knew them all by heart ) . I searched The Book twice, and I have only recently found the story behind it,
Which goes thus . . .
For many years, Ms. Joy Hill served as secretary for J.R.R. Tolkien . As the story goes, Professor Tolkien used to joke that, if ever a diamond bracelet were to fall out of an envelope of the correspondence she handled for him, it would be hers. Near the end of Professor Tolkien's life, as she helped him pack his office for a move, a poem Professor Tolkien had written fell out of a book. Ms. Hill read it, and fell in love with the short, three-verse piece, and Tolkien made it a gift to her, her "diamond bracelet", so to speak. Some time shortly later, after Professor Tolkien's death in 1973, Ms. Hill gave the poem to the composer Donald Swann, who in 1967 had worked with Professor Tolkien himself to set many of Tolkien's songs to music in the collection "The Road Goes Ever On". Mr. Swann himself was so moved by the piece that he set it to music, and added it to the 2nd edition of the collection, which was published in 1978. The same poem was published as a poster in 1974, illustrated by Pauline Baynes, one of Tolkien's favorite illustrators; and was included in the BBC audio production of " The Lord of the Rings". The poem does not itself actually appear in The Return of the King , but takes place at it's very end, when many of the principal heroes of the War prepare to set sail into the West, to leave Middle Earth forever. Among them are Gandalf the White, Wizard, Maia, and Head of the Istari; Frodo Baggins, Ringbearer; and his elder Bilbo, who found the Ring so long ago -

" [Gandalf] 'Well, here at last, dear friends, on the shores of the Sea comes the end of our fellowship in Middle-earth. Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.'
Then Frodo kissed Merry and Pippin, and last of all Sam, and went aboard; and the sails were drawn up, and the wind blew, and slowly the ship slipped away down the long grey firth; and the light of the glass of Galadriel that Frodo bore glimmered and was lost.
- The Grey Havens ( Chapter 9 ) , Book VI

The poem was supposed to be Bilbo's farewell to his friends and to Middle Earth, and in a sense, this poem is Tolkien's Farewell as well - to the Middle Earth he created, to the secretary who served him so faithfully, and to us, his readers, who came to love the world he created. But the poem's depth and meaning still rings strong even for those who know nothing of Tolkien's Great Masterpiece ( Shame on you ! ) . In a few short lines Tolkien has for me, and so many others, captured perfectly the sorrow and hope amalgamated together that make up all partings, from the ends of visits with beloved friends and family, to the final depature for mysteries unknown that all of us must one day face. And in that achievement, Tolkien demonstrates again the incredible genius that has made him one of the greatest poets of this, or indeed Any, age.

Bilbo's Last Song

Day is ended, dim my eyes,
but journey long before me lies.
Farewell, friends! I hear the call.
The ship's beside the stony wall.
Foam is white and waves are grey;
beyond the sunset leads my way.
Foam is salt, the wind is free;
I hear the rising of the Sea.
Farewell, friends! The sails are set,
the wind is east, the moorings fret.
Shadows long before me lie,
beneath the ever-bending sky,
but islands lie behind the Sun
that I shall raise ere all is done;
lands there are to west of West,
where night is quiet and sleep is rest.
Guided by the Lonely Star,
beyond the utmost harbour-bar,
I'll find the heavens fair and free,
and beaches of the Starlit Sea.
Ship, my ship! I seek the West,
and fields and mountains ever blest.
Farewell to Middle-earth at last.
I see the Star above my mast!
- J. R. R. Tolkien


...Superb. Simply, Superb. Simply, Sensationally, Strikingly,<>
Anyway, I have to go mug up a movie review in case one comes tomorrow. Wishing everyone the Best of Luck ( Lady Luck ? ) Goodbye, and Olleh !
- Debayan Gupta .

N.B. : I have the monopoly on dumb jokes.
F.N.B. : Comment or I will send all of you really nasty photos of Sharma wearing a pink tutu or less in the shower.
E.t.F.N.B. : This is not a joke. This is a Threat.