Wednesday, July 19, 2006

India Censored

India is My country. I love my country. That being said, Nuke 'em ! Nuke the bloody bastards, I say ! Politicians from our Great country who cannot distinguish a monitor from a cpu and know nothing whatsoever of the internet, suddenly decided that they were going to follow in the footsteps of Chinese idiocy, and begin political censorship of websites, to " help curb terrorism ". Nothing has been done, as of yet, about the mobile phones and SIM cards sold illegally to the terrorists responsible for the Mumbai blasts. Buuuut, apparently, the terrorists were using not email, not any groups or communities, nor any messaging services, but blogs to exchange confidential information. So, our government, in its infinite wisdom ( if you are a member of the government of India, I shall explain the previous phrase to you, as you are obviously unable to comprehend simple logical concepts - that was sarcasm, do you understand ? ) decided to block access to blogspot, geocities and typad. The morons running the ISP companies here are still tight mouthed about the whole thing, at first denying that any censoring at all has been done, then, after some persuasion ( read : bribing and threatning them ) they said that they were "merely following Department of Telecom orders which came last week", and because they did not have "the capability to selectively ban webpages" ( which is still against the principles of freedom of speech ), they banned entire domains. And this coming from the world's biggest Democracy. And the origin of one of the largest numbers of computer experts in the world. And a country which prides itself for tolerance. Our politicians should not be allowed to breed. This whole fiasco has become nothing less than an idiotic joke, and I do not like jokes of that variety. I hereby put forward the proposition that all Members of Parliament be required to take an IQ test, where, they will be asked to step down, if their score is less than half of that of a severely retarded mule ( Chimpanzees are much too intelligent to be used in this comparision.) . In other news, we had a lot of rain today - and Salt Lake was flooded, and I was late for class. News the Second : Xavier's College is off on the 21st and 24th ! YAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHOOooooooooooooo !
And, Finally, News the Third : I was so annoyed about this internet censorship nonsense that I have actually not read a book today ! Gasp ! Call an Ambulance, somebody ! I think I see a light... nope, my bad - no light. Why ? Because the rreplacement that the KMC had put up for the defective lamp post light bulb in front of my house after countless complaints, has gone Fudut ! Phew ! They had me worried for a moment there - competence and KMC are prctically antonyms. Oh, well.

Toodles, Debayan.

Friday, July 14, 2006

WTF ?

PLEASE READ THIS. THIS IS IMPORTANT, AND NOT THE USUAL YADA YADA, as Google puts it.

I was looking around on Orkut, and I found this group : We Hate India
This community is horrible !
Listen to this :

The sole purpose of this community isn't meant to offend India...its about making few statements very loud & clear to them...its about having a group of people who have enemity for India just coz of its oppressive & hostile approach...no matter how much proofs & justifications you bring up for there are many things which can't be denied & they won't be...you can flood anyone's scrapbook by talking trash & by giving up false news & stuff but it won't make any difference...i don't believe on any friendship nor do i believe on enemity but India's inclined towards doing it & i can't see that happening...though i didn't do much beneficial for my country but i tried to refrain myself from supporting indians & in embracing their Kaleidoscope culture...its not about hating Indian people & their country...its about hating all those things which are against Pakistan...against me!!!

That pissed me off. And then I read this :

" reason of enemity agaianst islam
Please do read them at least once as this might be helpful for everyone.
According to my limited understanding, these are two major reasons for the war against Islam:
1) The religion has a Holy book (Qur’an) that has not and will never change. It is obviously timeless guidance while being authentic and divine.No other religion has this privilege.
2) The stories of Lives of Prophets - referred in Qur’an (and Sunnah) are factual and Allah has given us the summaries of infinite practical life lessons to be learnt by referring them in Qur’an. This gives us an edge as compared to the followers of any other religion.
If we think deeply and contemplate on how would the enemies of Islam try to win the war against a divine religion??
) Conspiracy Theory Objective One: Change Muslims' way of thinking and try to take them away from their Holy Scripture.
How? Introduce other languages and take them away from their most powerful tool - LANGUAGE.Once the unchangeable book is translated - it won't stay unchangeable anymore!
Arabic is the deepest language in the world with a maximum number of verb forms as compared to any other language in the world.Result of this depth in verb forms is that we cannot accurately translate it to its full meaning into any other language.
As we don't know what we are praying for (as it is in Arabic) and we have our own language that we understand; our prayers don't have the required impact.
Allah wants us to understand what we are praying for!
Most of us don't really know what we are saying during the prayers - resultant is that the Salaah has become a mechanical thing instead of reflection & contemplation. Crush india 12/07/2006 19:312) Conspiracy Theory Objective Two: Create fear of this world in their minds so that they forget the lessons from Lives of Prophets.
How? Control people's minds through media. Everyone should start living in a fantasy while following the media - fabricated news etc..
3) Conspiracy Theory Objective Three: Make them weak and disunite them by making them fight with each other.
How? Create illusion, introduce fear and use "Divide & Conquer" by creating more and more sects.
How to Create Sects? Just produce another variation of translation of Qur’an. Change a few minute details through playing with words.
4) Conspiracy Theory Objective Four: Make them the Target for Hatred by General Public:
How? Introduce con-leaders and con- religious icons. Show them as terrorists so that the actual problem creators gain the sympathy of general public through fabricated media campaigns. Crush india 12/07/2006 19:31Simple Thing to Understand: Who has gained the most benefit (and still getting it) out of so called Muslim extremists?
Who gained the most out of 9/11, 7/7 and Iraq etc?
How? Create illusion, introduce fear and use "Divide & Conquer" by creating more and more sects. Take away the vision of life from Muslims by keeping them targeted.
All the above mentioned conspiracies and millions more mean nothing and cannot hurt us if we hold on strong to Allah's book and to the authentic Sunnah & Hadith.
Answer to most of the questions lies in this simple first steps (towards a journey of million miles):1) Understand what we pray (and ask for) during the Salaah2) Start learning Arabic language and learn/understand Qur’an to its fullest meaning - instead of getting deviated through inaccurate translations.3) If we understand what we are saying during Salaah - half of our problems will be addressed right away.4) Stop believing in media to the fullest. They are business men with hidden agenda (and foreign funding) and they have to sell - one way or the other.5) Always fear Allah and keep asking for help from Allah.6) Don't get bogged down with not important and useless discussions - rather try to solve the problem and suggest solutions to doable activities. "

I LOVE the freedom of speech. And, euphemisms aside, I HATE these kind of bastards. Listen up, citizens of Pakistan - I know a total of three Pakistanis, and am acquainted with one more; and all of them are wonderful, wonderful people - a lot of people in India actively hate all Pakistanis - Why, you ask ? Because of these few, who make a bad name for the rest of you, and for the rest of us, as well- no external observer would feel positively about the human species after having read this sort of thing.
I will not go into the Islam part of it - I personally believe that most religions do more harm than good - I do not care if someone believes in Allah, Christ or Krishna, as long as they are good people. However, it is these things that make others hate Islam - I confess, that after having read the latter portion of the text, I had a momentary bout of " Nuke the bastards" rush, befor my brain kicked in. So, please - I would ask you to report this group as bogus , but I like my freedom, so all I ask of you is to go, see and judge for yourself.

Most people are just really, really stupid. The rest are just bastards.

- Debayan Gupta.

00.7, Beta

Have you noticed how all softwares are "beta" versions nowdays ? Anyway, I was searching for something to remove a trojan that had *somehow, I know not how* gotten into my computer, and I found this site : http://www.knujon.com/ - It has a lot of excellent advice for newbies , as well as technical information for advanced users.

Ghonta.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

And That's All, Folks


Realio, its trulio ! And now, its been proved as well : Men are more humourous than women. So, the next time your punchline fails to KO someone, instead, resulting in an exasperated eye-roll, it might not be a reflection on your material.
The study was conducted by a group of researchers ( who, according to RD, were laughing their heads off at the fact that while other researchers at the same lab were toiling nightly over malignant spleens, they were studying comedy ) at the Stanford University School of Medicine ( you can almost hear the Capital Letters, eh ?) .
See Here : Mbwhahahaha. The study results boil down to the fact that males are usually more optimistic about humour - when a funny cartoon was displayed, the females showed increased activity in the "reward centre" of the brain. When the cartoon was not funny, the activity in the area went bact to its normal, lower level. In men, however, this default level is much higher, and remained unaffected when the cartoon was funny; but, when the cartoon was not funny, the level actually declined - ie., the men expected the joke to be funny, and were disappointed when it was not, while the women expected the joke to be unamusing, and only relented when it was irrefutably hilarious . As it turns out, it is true that females tend to over-analyze things, instead of just taking the simplest solution that's staring at you in the face.



Saturday, July 08, 2006

Or kut rut

Joined orkut today afer some of my friends convinced ( coerced) me. Well, I duly filled in the forms, until I came to the " Upload your Photo Section" . I tried to upload this foto :





Annd after 23 minutes, my screen was still showing this :


I tried uploading photos to other sites, and got more trouble ( uploading the two photos above took seven tries - and this, on a broadband connection). Note to self : check connection. Curiously, my download speed is unaffected. Oh well.

Tried to access a russian website today. The site informed me that I was not authorized to view this site ( which happens often ) but the message that they displayed was quite ... inspirational : If you are American, Go to Hell ( or America, if you prefer ). If not, sorry for the inconvenience. Shit happens.

In other news, KMC has actually replaced the light on the lamp-post across my house. I am still recovering from the shock.

Festina Lente, Debayan.

Ext. : For RB, check out his Orkut profile...

Friday, July 07, 2006

Water, water everywhere


We had a lot of rain here today, though I am reliably informed that it did not rain in AH block, which is less than a mile away. Perhaps Mr.Rob McKenna was passing by...

On another ( and more jarringly obnoxious ) note, I have the great pleasure(?) of announcing to the world that I have discovered yet another sub-species of that tribe-most-horrendously-evil, that group-most-sadistic, with few exceptions, the Teacher ( Torturer Extraordinare, Achiever of Countless Horrible Evils and Rampages ). This new genum seems to be exceptionally excitable, and liable to explode into action ( action = reiteration of the "importance of discipline ", which, apparently, is the "only thing in Xavier's".) and inappropriate ( and rather... unrealistic - it is impolite to call your teacher an out-and-out liar) flashbacks in the middle of teaching ( especially if it is something important ) .
Exempli Gratia : " In my time, there were some second year students. ( WOW !) There is a rule not to play in the field. They were tossing a tennis ball. Father came and cancelled their classes for two months." - In this highly condensed version, I have omitted the countless repititions, the grammar ( ie., lack therof ), the numerous "okay ?"s and the vigorous hand movements ( I know that the last one is hypocritical, but come on, this guy was practically jumping up and down ! ). Anyway, this anecdote is apparently proof of the importance of obeying the rules ( and not of the dwindling sanity of our Principal, or what is more probable, the teacher's lack of ability to make up a believable lie.).
Oh well. Note to aspiring artists : I do NOT look like an electrocuted wombat with blue striped buck teeth and orange polka dotted fish-scalesque beard.
On yet another note, My neighbour has bought.. let me see... yes, seven pieces of underwear, and apparently wishes to display them, and so, has strung them up outside my window. I am currently running up huge electric bills because of running my air conditioning twenty four hours a day. Any suggestions ?

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Classes Commence


Well, Dr. Nath seems to be a good teacher, although he was just introducing some algos today.
Note to self : Get the chap a decent blackboard eraser - the one he currently uses - to great effect, but rather in the opposite direction; the duster makes more prominent marks than the chalk.
Dr.P.K.C. also seems to be quite competent - although he keeps insisting that " Electronics is at the hart of every science ", and seems to have a lot of respect ( read:obession) for someone named J.S.Kilby (Jack Kilby) .
The Physics teacher - S. Palit, I think his name was, turned out to be a bit of a... hmmmm how do I say this politely... um... Oh what the heck ! He was, based upon my first impression, a complete bastard, and a possible winner of the Bangali Dhandosh Prize . The imbecile put nearly 120 of us in a room with seating for 70, and then started teaching : his voice is very - Tendulkaresque, without the slight raspyness - so few of us could hear him, and he then started to take a rollcall, sending people out if they did not respond ( one guy forgot his roll number ). Mbleh !
Enough of this nonsense ! Mails, people, mails - Dibyayan you Sharma ! Mail me or face the wrath of the ( I will throw no titles at you )...

On Another note, Look Out Superman,

I can see through things too...

Seeing is believing -- researchers explain 'x-ray specs' effect

An annual exhibition showcasing the best of UK science and technology this year includes a novel optical effect pioneered by physicists at Imperial College London.

[...]

Mbwhahahahahahahahahahaha.... it's only a matter of time before I get the rest of your powers, and flood the world with mutated cheese and Sharma Action ( inaction ?) figures ! Mbwhahahahahahahahahahahaha !

Note : No, I am not smoking anything, but with the fumes (~~~) around here, I don't really need to.

Toodles, Debayan.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Autonomy for Xavier's

Newest advance in field of tortu-education !!! College actually checks papers !!! Gives accurate Marks !!!
Really !!!

"Ya Baby !" ( Comment by Principal Fr. P.C.Mathew during the ceremony for the "taking of effect" of autonomous status for Xavier's ) - it seems that PCM has been watching Austin Powers.

This also means :

  • If you get low marks in any subject you can just harass the professor and get it increased.
  • Less chance of your examination paper being stolen by a cat while being checked.
  • No (or negligible) student unions.
  • The * can buy special lotion for his beard.
  • The ** can actually buy a helmet.
  • Examinations Realio, Trulio, take place on time.

The Computer Science Head Of Department, Mr. Asoke Nath turned out to be a very nice and ... enthusiastic ( as it turns out, there is a reason why the word "enthusiasm" originates from a word meaning "possessed" ) man.

Note : This Picture was taken in a windless area, otherwise, the area of the scalp covered by hair is significantly reduced.

Before all this, however, we had introductory speeches by the Heads. PCM's speech was good, while Fr.Eaton tried to crack a few jokes, which, I must say, would have made a better impression if he had not read them off a piece of paper in a monotone. He insisted that The most important sign of maturity is knowing how to dress - ie., the finer points of the differences between partywear, picnicwear and collegewear ( his words, not mine ) and that things like pedal pushers were discouraged ( and I assure you, his tone was very discouraging ). He also seemed to have oiled his hair (?~!) today.

I must also confess that the pseudo attempted ragging session by the second years was a complete failure - I mean like, honestly, who is going to take five girls from the English honours section and a few (obviously sadly retarded) boys seriously, especially when they cannot think of anything more intelligent for a ragging session than " Say your Name in Hindi " - It actually took one of the male second years to point out that " Aaare, je bhashatei bol, naamta to aake thakbe " for the girl leading them (!) to realise her error ( I - and probably most of us - thought that she was just joking; until we came to the sad realization that she actually .. Gaah ! Even thinking about such idiocy gives me a headache. ).

Oh wll ! Regular updates from tomorrow, and

Haktufga, Debayan.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Oogabuga !!


Tada ! Thank the Gods ! Jump for Joy! Praise the Ponce !

News that is Good: I is kcab !
Bad that is News ? Whatever little semblance of geeky humour I once had has been reduced to me finding things like saying wookiewookiewookiewookie funny.

wookiewookiewookiewookiewookiewookiewookiewookie .. ahem. And even this was not original ( thank God ! ).

Sorry about the delay - which was one of the reasons I allowed Arka into the blog - I knew that I would be unable to post for a while, so... Oh well. Now, onto the reson of my inability to post : College admissions. At first I thought that the lines at Xavier's were bad, but, I have been forced to revise my opinion by Presidency College - in Xavier's, you could, at least, submit the form online - you only had to come for the interview (and for the $^_^ $). Here ? You do have an online form, but in order to pay the Rs.15 fee, in order to get it validated, you have to stand in a line for one hour and thirty seven minutes ( That is how long I had to wait ), then, you have to fill up the form, where, for some reason, they have separate fields named : Address, Parent's Address, Communication Address and Permanent Address. After filling up this form, you then have to submit it, for which there are more lines - you can go for two Honours subjects, for each of which there is a different line. I had to stand in sweltering (we are talking 41ºC in the shade with 92% humidity, which was what the instruments there indicated) heat from one thirty three to five forty nine that's 1:33 - 5:49, with no fans, no ventilation, no water, no internet access, no anything in a queue that stretched from .. well, the corridor is 200m long, and the line doubled back and turned, so it was about 350m when I reached it. This was just the Physics queue. The mathematics ( see the absence of the M? Sharma will do that to a person. ) queue was even longer.
The only reason I survived was because I never actually stood in the queue - I took my leather bag, puffed myself up, put on a SJ ( Sab Janta ) face, and walked in. Nothing succeeds like effrontery, especially on a massive scale. ( Take that, Aviroop ! Name the book, If you can... )This post is just a filler - as soon as I am able to ( read : as soon as His Most Great Highness condescends to get up from his Most Wonderful Soft And Fluffy Bed ), I shall begin posting properly.
Bye, Debayan.
P.S. : Calm down, Arka. As Anindya used to say whenever we got a sum wrong - Don't be emotional.
P.P.S. : Guess who wrote this ( No cheating by searching... or ELSE ! )
Which came first, the egg or the rooster?
P.G.Wodehouse or Bertram Wooster?
I know hawk from handsaw, and Finn from Fiji,
But I can't disentangle Bertram from PG.
I inquire in the school room, I ask in the road house,
Did Wodehouse write Wooster, or Wooster Wodehouse?
*_*

Monday, June 05, 2006

I SUPPORT RESERVATION (read on...)

I believe in reservation very strongly. I completely agree with what our PM is trying to do. But I believe that there should be reservations everywhere:

LET'S START
I am in favor of reservation if:

1. There can be reservation in Government jobs . Recruitment of only SC/ST(60%) and OBC (40%)pilots for aircrafts which are carrying the ministers and politicians (that can really help the country and save many of us the disater of many a political coup.. )

2.Allow only SC/ST and OBC doctors to operate on ministers and other politicians. (Another way of saving our land..)

3. Lets turn to sports:
i. Cricket: OBC hitting a four will be a six
Scoring a 50 will be a century
Running halfway between the creases will be considerd one run
They will be allowed 2 chances while getting out
ii. Football: Striking any part of the goal posts will be a goal
iii. Athletics: A gold Medal for running half the distance

4. All cars and planes ferrying ministers to be built by SC/ST or OBC engineers.

5. Flats and houses to be built only by SC/ST or OBC architects

LETs take INDIA ahead.
Jai Hind!!!!!

I am now a member of the masters blog and i will write from time to time

Happy Blogging
ArKa

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Shaint Jebhiyaars

Well, I went to our alma mater today, to get my certificates - the rascals gave me " GOOD " on my character certificate ! Saket got the same thing thet I did - GOOD. When I asked Fr.Boristo explain, he said " It differs from Headmaster to Headmaster. And that should explain everything." GAH ! I'll boil them in castor oil and force them to watch legally blonde ( which is BAD - I was forced to watch it, and I had to take antidepressant ans antipsychotic pills before I could trust myself to speak ).
I had to wait in a very long line for two and a half hours yesterday, and two hours today before I got to meet the Principal. Honestly, it seems that every single person with a single certificate has come for " special consideration" - I went for the debaters category ( although I'll get in anyway, as I have good marks and I am a third generation Xaverian ). There were .. what.. 200-300 girls in the line, who were all, apparently internationally famous dancers - for goodness' sake, many of them had brought photos. photos of themselves dancing God-knows-where, while the form specifically spoke of certificates (at least inter school, preferably state or national level). There were many more who applied for the "Outstanding Sportspersons" option. I will not extend thiss any further than to say - I saw someone with a soccer match participation certificate from class 3.
In other news, I did worse than expected in IIT, with a rank of 2058. Oh well. All hail Abhinav, who got 292. I would also like to congratulate my cousin Nayanika who got 86% on her Madhyamik.

I will blog later.

Quota Row

( If you have not read my mail )

As you all already know, the Indian central government has , in its usual unending wisdom, begun yet another crusade into the vast reaches of stupidity ( Quote : I believe that the Universe and human stupidity are infinite. I am not sure about the former. - Einstein ) . The politicians have decided ( although the heads of the institutions concerned have said, and I quote the eloquent words of the one heads of the IITs - " What ?!!! " ) to increase the already high quotas given to SCs &STs. Now, I have no objection to the idea of helping people out, but,

1. Institutions like the IITs take only the best. That is the purpose of "Selection" examinations. By doing this, the government is basically ensuring the people get in, not by merit, but through their heritage. What this leads to is even worse - people get into these institutions, are unable to cope, and drop out later. Just to give you an idea of the extent of this, in the last 2 years, in K'pur alone, five times the students that dropped out from the general category dropped out from the "quota" seats.

2. This entire quota hullabaloo is obviously nothing more than a political move - if someone really wanted to help the BCs and BTs, then they should, and would have tried to get the number of more primary and secondary level institutions increased, which would really help a lot of people - with this quota thing, how many are getting helped ?


3. The worst part : medical students. Firstly, the number of seats is very small. Secondly, and more importantly, what most people seem to be overlooking is the fact that education has a purpose - these students are learning to become doctors; these people are going to go out into the world, and people's lives, maybe even yours or mine are going to be on the line. I, for one, will not trust my life to any but the best. I will not trust my life to somebody who became a doctor, not by merit, but because of his or her origins.

The politicians of India today ( curiously, this title has become synonymous with .. .well to find out what it has become synonymous with, just go to your local Cha and Paan shop, and kick the tablle over. What you will hear is what I cannot type .) have begun this henious act. Unfortunately, as Carl Parker once said - If you take all the fools out of the Legislature, it will no longer be a representative body. Well, since they started it, let us be the ones to end it.


P.S. : "Henious", eh ? Guess why ...

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Eh?

First, a short message to those of you who know me - did you honestly think that I wrote that ? Come on ... my writing style is completely different, and more importantly, with my WBJEEs coming up, I have no time to research all that stuff. The P.S. was there for a reason.
I must say that "HUH ?!!" was my first reaction after reading the comments - Honestly, have none of you nakli-Kolkatans been to Shantiniketan ? Why do I ask ?

Well, here are the people who actually wrote this article -

Yep. Albert Einstein and Rabindranath Tagore.

The article was originally written by these two Nobel laureates, but was not published till a loooong time later, when Roald Hoffman found the half torn manuscript in the main library at Shantiniketan, where it still resides. I just added a few lines here and there, and -TADA !!! And if anyone still thinks that it is "b**l SHiT", and that author has an enlarged ego... well ! ( need I say more ... Albein annd Rabtag )

And as Guru reminded me, about the "I have a deep rooted hatred for all XAVERIANS for their bricks of ego strapped round their heads" comment - are you by any chance acquainted with any of the current students, especially of 11&12 ? If so, then I am afraid that I must agree - most of them have egos the size of Sharma's (mathamotix). If not, then stop making assumptions about people you know little about. One thing that I have learnt during my countless debate sessions with Rb, is that making generalizations like "all XAVERIANS" is nothing less than an invitation for your opponents to destroy your points ( if you have any

^_~). Oh well... away with the trivialities.

In other, completely unrelated news, I amm now sleeping with all my windows closed, because three -not one, not two, but THREE cats have decided that my sofa is a better bed than wherever they usually sleep. And so, I have to sleep (or try to ) with little or no ventilation. Mbleh !

Bye, Debayan.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Never let Reality get in the way of a good Hypothesis

Date : Today, Time : From seventeen minutes past one to three in the blessed afternoon,
Event : 11 (eleven, E-L-E-V-E-N, aagaaro, aekadosh, etc. ) salesmen, selling everything from soap
to electric chimneys to magnetic ear cleaners ( I still haven't figured the last one out - I mean, how can one have a magnetic ear cleaner ?!!), and on top of that there was this chap who was
trying to get me to donate some money "For the Enviroment" - I was understandably reluctant after noticing the "enviroment", but I still gave him some money, and then, he tells me that
he won't give me a receipt ! So, I took the money back and kicked him out ( the first part wasn't as easy as it sounds - I had to threaten him with the local crimi..police before he gave in ).Well, after this I decided to write something about nature - Here goes...

The Vatican holds a fresco by Raphael entitled The School of Athens. Plato and Aristotle stride toward us. Plato's hand points to the heavens, Aristotle's outward, along the plane of the earth. The message is consistent with their philosophies - whereas Plato had a geometric prototheory of the chemistry of matter, Aristotle described in reliable detail how Tyrian purple (now known to be a precursor of indigo) was extracted from rock murex snails. Plato searched for the ideal; Aristotle looked to nature.

Short note : Contrary to the ideas of my next door neighbours, who are ardent supporters of CPIM, and for all I know, the ideas of many others ( although I fervently hope that this is not
the case ), Plato is the name of a philosopher, or in some cases, a distinctive dark-floored large crater on the Moon just north of Mare Imbrium, NOT a local company that manufactures
plates.


Remarkably, science today faces the quandary that Raphael's fresco epitomized. Should it follow the hand sign of Aristotle or that of Plato? Can we, for example, hope to make better composites by mimicking the microstructure of a feather or of a strand of spider's silk? Are scientists better advised to seek their inspiration in ideal mathematical forms, in icosahedra and in footballs (soccer, not the... solidified crudity that is rugby )? Or should we hazard chance?

To many people ( mainly the businessmen whose companies have to pay extra for environmentally acceptable manufacturing methods ) the difference between what is natural and what is not, is arbitrary - humanity is a product of nature, and thus, so is anything produced by it. Such a view is understandable and has a lot history, but it does away with a distinction that troubles ordinary and thoughtful people. So I will not adopt it and instead will distinguish between the actions, mostly intended, of human beings and those of animals, plants and the inanimate world around us. A sunset is natural; a sulphuric acid factory is not. The one and a half billion odd head of cattle in this world pose an interesting problem for any definition. Most
of them are both natural and unnatural - the product of breeding controlled by humans.So, the first thing that we need to decide is the definition of "natural".

The molecules that exist "naturally" on the earth emerged over billions of years as rocks cooled, oceans formed, gases escaped and life evolved. The number of natural molecules is in the billions; perhaps a few hundred thousand have been separated, purified and identified. The vast majority of the compounds that fit into the "unnatural" category were created during the past three centuries. Chemists have added perhaps 20 million well-characterized molecules to nature's bounty.

To every thing of this world, be it living or not, there is structure. Deep down are molecules, persistent groupings of atoms associated with other atoms. There is water in the distilled form in the laboratory, in slightly dirty and acid snow, in the waters associated with our protein molecules. All are H2O. When chemistry was groping for understanding, there was a reasonable reluctance to merge the animate and inanimate worlds.
Friedrich W0hler convinced many people that the worlds were not separate by synthesizing, in 1828, organic urea from inorganic silver cyanate and ammonium chloride, but even today, we divide chemistry into Organic and Inorganic - admittedly, this is mostly for historical reasons ( "organic" chemistry has many molecules which have never existed, nor are likely to exist anywhere outside of a laboratory ), but organic chemistry, based mostly upon the compounds of Carbon holds a special
importance to most humans - it is what we are made of !!! It must be very special !

Many believe that there is some kind of special beauty in "nature" - there is beauty in everything, but most of us refuse to see it. This means that we see the beauty only in what is useful to us, except in the case where the object is "natural", which, for our purposes means "already exists". Primaxin is one of the most effective antibiotics on the market, a prime money-maker for Merck & Co. The pharmaceutical is not a single molecule but a designed mixture of two compounds, imipenem and cilastatin. These are their "trivial" names. The real names are a bit longer; for instance, imipenem is

[5R-[5a, 6a(R*)]]-6-(1-hydroxyethyl)-3-[[2-[(iminomethyl)amino]ethyl]thio]-7-oxo-1-azabicyclo[3.2.0]hept-2-ene-2-carboxylic acid.

The production of thienamycin required 21 major steps, each involving several physical operations: dissolution, heating, filtration, crystallization. Between the starting material - a common
amino acid, L-aspartic acid and the desired product hienamycin 20 other molecules were isolated and purified.
The first impression that one gets is of complexity. That intricacy is essential, a laboratory counterpoint to the biochemical complexity of bacteria and us. We would like there to be "magic bullets" of abiding simplicity. The real world is complicated and beautiful. We had better come to terms with that richness. To get a feeling for the sweat, if not the blood and tears, of the process, we need to turn to the experimental section of the paper reporting the synthesis. Here is an excerpt of that experimental protocol, describing a critical, inventive step in the synthesis, the transformation from compound 8 to 9:

A suspension of diazo keto ester 8 (3.98g, 10.58 mmol) and rhodium (II) acetate dimer (0.04 g, 0.09 mmol) in anhydrous toluene (250 mL) was thoroughly purged with nitrogen, and then heated with stirring in an oil bath maintained at 80oC. After heating for two hours, the reaction mixture was removed from the bath and filtered while warm through a pad of anhydrous magnesium sulphate. The filtrate was evaporated under vacuum to afford the bicyclic keto ester 9 (3.27 g, 89%) as an off-white solid.

You can be sure that this jargon-laden account of an experimental procedure is a sanitized, too linear narrative; it is the way things were at the end: neat, optimized. Not the way it first happened. Putting that aside, you feel work, a sequence of operations that take time and effort. Sometimes, just as in our romantic notions of words springing from the brow of inspired poets, we forget the sheer labour of creation.

You ( like me) might be interested to see the way these experimental procedures change when the very same process is scaled up. You can't make hundreds of millions of dollars' worth of
tienamycin the same way you make a few grams in the laboratory. Here is the description of the industrial synthesis, for the very same step:

The solids containing 200 kg of 8 are dropped into 476 gallons of MeCl2 in tank TA-1432. Meanwhile, the reactor ST-1510 is cleaned out by a 200-gallon MeCl2 boilout. The slurry is transferred to ST-1510, followed by a 50-gallon MeCl2 line flush. An additional 400 gallons of dry MeCl2 are added to ST-1510, and hot water (65oC) is applied to the jackets to concentrate the batch to 545 gallons where the slurry KF (Karl Fischer) is approximately 0.5 g/1 H2O. Distillates are condensed and collected in another tank.

Making veal stroganoff for a thousand people is not the same as cooking at home for four.

People think writing a intriguing story is difficult, that good poetry has to be inspired by something - so do I ; science, however, has been reduced to something less.. a handful of formulae, learnt by rote, synonymous with clinical - where is the appreciation of the beauty of science ? Where is the spirit of enquiry that drove people like Richard Feynman ?If people are able to see the beauty in , and buy "modern" paintings ( many of which, to me, at least, seem to have been drawn by drunk chimpanzees ), then why can they not see the same thing in the structure of th ferric wheel ?

Stephen J. Lippard and Kingsley L. Taft of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology synthesized the ferric wheel, also known as [Fe(OCH3)2(O2CCH2Cl)]10. They discovered this exquisite molecule while studying model molecules for inorganic reactions that occur in biological systems. For instance, a cluster of iron and oxygen atoms is at the core of several important proteins, such as hemerythrin, ribonucleotide reductase, methane monooxygenase and ferritin (not household words these, but essential to life). In the course of their broad attack on such compounds, Lippard and Taft performed a deceptively simple reaction. Just how simple it seems may be seen from their experimental section, reproduced in its entirety:

Compound 1 was prepared by allowing the monochloroacetate analogue of basic iron acetate, [Fe3O(O2CCH2Cl)6 (H2O)3](NO3) (0.315 g, 0.366 mmol), to react with 3 equiv of
Fe(NO3)3·9H2O (0.444 g, 1.10 mmol) in 65 mL of methanol. Diffusion of ether into the green-brown solution gave a yellow solution, from which both gold-brown crystals of 1 and a yellow
precipitate deposited after several days.


Using x-ray diffraction on the gold-brown crystals, Lippard and Taft determined the arrangement of atoms in the molecule. The structure consists of 10 ferric ions (iron in oxidation state three) in a near circular array. Each iron atom is joined to its neighbors by methoxide and carboxylate bridges, "forming a molecular ferric wheel," to quote its makers. No one will deny the visual beauty of this molecule. It does not have the half billion dollar annual sales of Primaxin, but nobody who has seen the molecule can disagree to its beauty, which is not just the inherent beauty born ot of symmetry, but, somehow, I know not how, is as beautiful as any tropical sunset - yet this is not a "natural" molecule. Perhaps some day the ferric wheel will find a use; perhaps it will form a link in explaining the function of iron-containing proteins. I do not really care - for me, this molecule is just that ; a molecule, a piece of matter, which somehow manages to be.. there is really no other word - beautiful.

Is this not part of nature ? Perhaps this is what the old philosophers meant when they spoke of an omnipresent God - the beauty around us, within us, the wondrous beauty that prevades existence itself; a French chemist, Alain Sevin, has put it well:

The incredible richness and fantasy of Nature is an act of defiance to Man, as if he had to do better in any domain. Flying faster than birds, diving deeper than whales.... We are Promethean characters in an endless play which now is in its molecular act.

We are driven to transform. We have learned to do it very well. But this play is not a comedy.

Were humanity in search of a single icon, the outstretched hand of Prometheus bringing fire to humanity would serve well. Prometheus, a name meaning "forethought," represents the element of design, the process of fruitfully taking advantage of chance creation. Fire is appropriate because it drives transformation. The hand of Prometheus is the symbol of creation - the hand of God reaching to Adam in Michelangelo's fresco, the hands in contentious debate in Durer's Christ among the Doctors, the infinite variety of hands that Rodin
sculpted. Hands bless, caress and hide, but most of all, they shape.

Mbwhjaja !!! This is getting too sentu and aantellectual ! Well, there you go, a nice, long post making up for my lack of updates.
Bye, Debayan Gupta.

P.S. : Comment. Or Else.
P.P.S.: Immature authors imitate. Mature authors steal.
P.P.P.S. : More of this essay in my next post.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Dum de dum

Sorry for the wait, but I was was busy with the ISI examination ( NO, NOT the bloody Paki ISI, ISI as in Indian Statistical Institute.) - Well, I had a GREAT exam, I mean, exempli gratia, the subjective part had TWO sums that I had done before - that's TWO OUT OF TEN !!! WOOHOOO ! I am now going out to celebrate. I will update , with details tomorrow. ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....